The Cause Of Jealousy
The basic cause of jealousy is selfishness. When a man becomes eccentric and self-centered, he lives only for himself and regards all other beings as his potential rivals. He is envious of their success. He covets their possessions. He cannot tolerate their happiness. He is jealous of their achievements. In the final analysis, he becomes completely unsociable and dangerous, which create problems. Problems can come from many sources.
Dealing With Jealousy
When we come to know the danger of harbouring jealousy, we can then devote our time and energy to the profitable cultivation of wholesome thoughts of kindness and sympathy. We should think that there is nothing for us to lose when others make progress. We should cultivate modesty, eradicate self-centered craving, and develop sympathetic joy at the happiness of others. A person who is imbued with such good thoughts is a blessing to himself and the world at large. The practice of sympathetic feeling for the sufferings of others should be encouraged while at the same time eradicating thoughts of selfishness. A happy and contented life is only attained when one overcomes selfishness and develops goodwill, understanding and benevolence.
The Buddha encouraged His disciples to develop sympathetic or appreciative joy when others are happy, which is an effective antidote to jealousy. They adopt a congratulatory attitude by rejoicing when others prosper and succeed. This may not be hard to do when our loved ones prosper and succeed, but is rather difficult with regard to our adversaries.
Just think: ‘Do we not want to prosper and succeed? Do we not wish to be blessed with happiness? Just as what we would want for ourselves, wouldn’t the others too want to be blessed with prosperity, success and happiness?’
Maintaining such a mental attitude can free a person from much suffering as well as from falling to ruin, especially when ill-will and malicious actions develop from jealous thoughts. It also prevents one from hindering others in making good progress.
On the other hand, we must practice with others who are jealous of our success. Their reaction can sometimes arise because we have not acted with humility. We must be considerate by not flaunting our achievements before others who are less successful. During moments of success, we must recall our past failures so that we may understand better the feelings of others who have performed less well.
When others act against us because of jealousy, guard ourselves against their resentment. We should remind ourselves that we, like others, are owners of our respective deeds (karma). We should think thus: ‘Now what is the point of me getting angry with him? Anger will not solve problems, they will only aggravate the situation. This anger will only create karma which will lead to my own suffering and downfall. By reply to him with resentment, I will only hurt myself like a person who picks burning embers in his hand to hit another with it.’
